Have you seen Malaysians using public transportation? ..... I keep imagining a skit where an innocent bystander tries to get on or get off the LRT during peak hours .... He or she would come out naked because of all the pushing and pulling and elbowing and kicking and, who knows, even groping .... If that happens to me, I'm gonna kick his balls ... right on that very train .....
Forget about getting in line .... Some idiot would just make a beeline straight for the doors when the train arrives, regardless of the long line of already impatient people .... What about those morons who just push you right inside when basically everybody is already in a sardine can, and then the very same moron would just give you dirty looks when you accidentally step on their toes? ...
I just want to tell these people to look at themselves in the mirror and see that their head has a wide gaping hole at the top .... It'll be like Twilight Zone meets Senario, except with superior dialogue compared to stupid sketches of the latter .... And what about those dumb-belles who would push their way in to get a seat, and then push their way out before the train even comes to their stop? .... What the hell do you need the seat for anyway? Even with all the the pressure-work done on the seat, it couldn't very well support that big ass of yours, since that's where all your brain has gone to ....
Then we move on to how Malaysians generally go about in public areas .... Have you noticed how a number of them just love to stall right in the middle of traffic in shopping complexes? .... At the escalator .... At the entrances to the stores or to the washroom ... At the spot where everyone has to go through .... But when on the road, pandu cam hantu .... Pontianak pun cabut lari ....
And then during the weekends, when there are just so many people at the local hypermarket, and everyone's lining up and crowding at the registers, ader lah manusia celaka yang shopping cart nyer penuh ngan barang, tapi still want to line up at the express lanes .... That goes to show how idiotic Malaysians are, can't even count how many items they have .... The onus is on the management itself to force the express lane ruling, but still, ader jugak manusia yg terlepas .... tak tau express lane konon, kepala hotak ngkau lah tak tau!! .... Signboard punyer lah besar, takkan lah buta kot?! ....
And what about people not knowing where to park their shopping carts, or how to handle them for that matter .... Just today I saw one idiot actually pushed their shopping cart on the bleeding escalator! .... Dier nie mesti ingat dier ader superpower, cam shopping cart tu takkan topple backwards and cause unnecessary injury to people standing behind ..... Who cares if the idiot falls backwards, hits the floor and cracks open his head .... That's one less non-brainer to worry about, but he needn't to take us all with him .... The Malaysian mentality on the road demonstrated in the public area .....
What would be great actually is that instead of those boring montages with tacky graphics of public awareness campaigns that FNM always cook up, this is what they should do ..... They should get as many footages of all these examples of how Malaysians are really like, edit them together, and at the end just put a message that says, "Kalau nak tahu perangai orang Malaysia, ah inilah dia ...." But instead of putting the words in horrible tacky typography with some horrible tacky graphics in the background, if you have watched Labu Labi and know it by heart, there is this one scene where P Ramlee introduces his character and shows Haji Bakhil's car, after which there is a medium shot of the car, and then back to him, where he deadpans, "Cantik kan? Macam Setan" .... Well, with modern editing and sound technology as we know it today, they should re-edit that bit of dialogue where P Ramlee introduces himself and make him say the line I've written above, and finish it with that classic deadpan line that always cracks me up .... It would work brilliantly, coz Malaysians still look up at P Ramlee, and look down at most of the stupid local politicians alive today ....
And I saved the best for last .... Imagine you and a bunch of girls about to have a nice lunch together, and suddenly out of the blue, these two so-called Datuks just pushed their way next to us, and just started talking as if we knew them ... apparently I was the only one who didn't who they were .... Because what annoyed me even more was when the girl next to me wrote a really obtuse message, in my opinion, on her phone and showed it to me surreptitiously .... "Semua nie big boss ... Next time introduce yourself" ....
Excuse me, these two obviously ill-mannered, ahem, men just shoved their way into the conversation, and I'm the one who had to introduce myself to them? ..... What the crap do I care about Panglima Darjah Kebesaran they earned? More like Panglima Tak Berdarjah dan Kecik Mak Datuk punyer Datuk!!! I AM NOT AT ALL IMPRESSED with their brash ways and telling stupid stories while the girl-bitch just laughing at all their stupid unfunny jokes ..... It's men like these who give me the heebie jeebies ..... If you expect me to respect you, you have to come down to my level ..... Do you honestly think Mahatma Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln just shoved their way into a conversation without introducing themselves? .... So impolite and just .... eeeii, menyampah aku .... Datuk konon .... Just gives all the Datuks out there a bad name ....
The thing is, it's this sort of uncompromising attitude I have that would probably get me kicked out of the company, as it has happened on a quite regular basis with me recently .... I don't like the management, go screw themselves .... Whereas it's people like the girl-bitch that gets ahead .... by kissing ass and giving blow jobs ..... No, thank you, but I just smiled all the way throughout the conversation and did not say a word, unless they asked me .... I don't have much money in the end, but at least I can look at myself in the mirror ..... and find that there isn't a wide gaping hole on top of my head ......
Sheriff Labi: Oooo, banyak cantik ... Tepi sikit, aku nak tembak semua manusia celaka nie ...
Taken from: www.reocities.com
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