Now, I've tried as much as I can not to rant abt my work, especially abt the people I work with ... Only because I realise, maybe a little bit too late, that I might drag myself into a legal mess to do with libel, more so because I work at a major daily ...
And also I have this growing suspicion that my editor knows about my blog(s), though I'm not that big-headed to think that busy people the likes of my editor would waste their precious time reading pathetic blogs belonging to people the likes of me ....
How would he be able to find out? .... I believe, wholeheartedly, that there are spies there .... No, not for the government, though that may be right as well .... And with me not being so discreet, trying to steal the chance typing up on my blog(s)whenever I can, when actually I should be typing up work, while these annoyingly nosey people walk up and down behind me all the time ... You see, the area where I sit is exposed to the whole floor, and I happen to sit between the damn whole floor and the bloody f**king toilets ...
Anyway, back to what I really want to rant about ... If you, dear reader(s), happen to pick up a copy of the measly paper we write a tiny section for, and so happen see this panel called Our Say, well what I say on that panel has not been what I really want to say for the past few issues now, or rather not the words with which I want to say ....
And that's why I'm bloody upset with the associate editor, who I managed to piss off yesterday, so much so that apparently no one working in that tiny section of ours has ever seen him so bloody mad .... Well, deep down I feel justified for having made him blow his top off .... And you know why is that?
Here's why, my dear associate editor, if you also happen to be reading my blog:
WHY ARE YOU CENSORING WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY? I JUST WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF SELF-IDENTITY WRITING ON THAT SECTION OF OURS .... IS THAT SO BLOODY F**KING WRONG? .... I'M NOT PLAYF**KING MINDGAMES WITH YOU, BUT I HAVE A SNEAKING SUSPICION THAT YOU ARE ....
I understand that my words may not be as sophisticated as you all may what them to be, I fully understand the implication of saying something risky that it would land all of us in legal hot soup .... But really, some of the things I want to say are pretty innocuous ...
I'm not an idiot, and if I were, it would really say something about the people who hired me .... But you see, sometimes I do feel like an idiot, working there ....
I get really frustrated when I can't make him understand what I really want to say .... It's like, "Am I speaking Swahili here or what?" .... Which is why most of the time I just throw up my hands in the air and say, "Fine, what do you want me to say?" ....
Earlier in one of my posts abt my work"mates", I said something about a confidence issue .... Yeah, I suffer from that now and then .... But you know what, I think my associate editor suffers from an ego issue ....
That's it .... If I can think of some more things to rant, and somehow can word them very carefully, then I will .... But for now, I just think it's a complete waste of blog space ranting abt people on this blog or elsewhere, but I do it anyway 'coz I need to let it out ....
I'm just an actor there, in all sense of the word .... Hmmm, this may not be accurate, in the sense that people in the acting profession may not agree with me using the term 'actor' so loosely .... What I actually mean to say here is that, where I work right now, I am not fully myself, especially with the people I directly work with .... Hang on, I think I already made this point somewhere *scratching obviously befuddled head* ....
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