Oh, the toilet story is so long ... Let's just say that we got rid of the toilet that caused so much problem, like water wastage, that my mother decided to change the toilet to a new one ... Actually, if it weren't for the fact that something broke which caused the chain linking to the whatever that makes water flush into the bowl and into the sewer system, the toilet would not needed to be changed, and the water wastage would continue ... Maybe it was my silent prayer that worked, because I hated the water wastage so much it became a 'doa' ... I don't know ... Whatever, man ... Now I have a brand new toilet and I owe my mother for it ... So what, it's just f**king money ... Better waste money than water ...
Anyway, went to the outpatient psych clinic very recently ... Did not make the scene as I had planned, but I did say to the doctor that I was getting pissed off with the question "Are you still hearing voices?", to which the doctor replied, "So, how do you want me to ask that question?" ... She got a bit defensive, I think, and I I thought, well, maybe government doctors are f**king tired as well ... Yeah, they get so many patients and they probably don't have a salary as high as their private sector counterparts ... I didn't answer her question ... Instead, I said, "Well, I don't think I'm textbook schizophrenic" ... (Am in the process of getting an intro book on this published by OUP) ... And the good doctor replied, "We have to follow the textbooks" and continued saying that they would ask bipolar patients whether they have had a manic episode, for instance ...
Like I said before, I don't like to argue, but in hindsight, I should have asked back, "But, I thought doctors are supposed to innovate? Or else, how are you going to find a cure?" ... Whatever, man ... But, I told her I don't want to take the clonazepam ... In the beginning, the doctor said that I should just halved my dosage for clonazepam from 1mg to half a milligramme, but I told her point blank I just don't want to take the clonazepam ... I said I would not stop my primary medication, which is risperidone of course ... I think at this that the doctor finally relented ... If not, my mother has to go to the hospital's pharmacy for outpatients and pick up my pills every month as clonazepam is a controlled substance ... Sans clonazepam, I can have my risperidone sent by mail for the next three months ... And I added that I have a surplus of clonazepam ... Yeah, it's dangerous for a person who has tried to you-know-what to have a surplus of a pill that can cause fatal damage if overdosed, but I put my trust in God that I would not go down that path of depression ever again ... Plus, the surplus would probably just knock me out ...
Just kidding ... For goodness' sake, I'm not going to kill myself ... I'll end up in hell and who wants that? ...
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