I am now a licensed Class B2 motorcycle rider :)

My second-hand MZ Moskito

By the grace of Allah, I passed my Class B2 motorcycle license test on 11 July 2013 ... So now not only do I know how to drive, I can also ride a motorcycle that is below 250 cc ...

How has it come to this, where I am now part of the Malaysian motorcycle community,  whose majority of members I dislike very much due to their reckless behaviour while on the road, disregarding completely the safety of others ...

Well, it all started with the erratic scheduling of the LRT feeder bus passing by my neighbourhood ... For the past two years, there were times I would be fuming at the bus stop because the bloody bus came much later than expected, with 'expected' being the operative word as LRT feeder buses work on a schedule that is mysteriously known only to them and not the rest of the universe ...

... There were days when there was no bus at all so I had to take a cab to the LRT station, arriving at the office at a much later hour, which spoiled my mood for the rest of the day ...

At the same time, I became aware of this particular errant motorcycle rider as I "patiently" waited for the bus every morning ... The irony of it is that in a few months, I myself would join the likes of this biker f***ker, despite having cursed and wished awful thoughts for him, like him getting into a horrible accident where he would be left maimed and with much less intelligence than he had to begin with ... You see, the bus stop is situated in front of a fuel station, where I would be able to see the comings and goings of people filling up there ... This particular rider would "sashay" in with his god-awful coat and that awful-looking fabric material he had wrapped around his neck, which I would love to wring for all the times he went up the road THE WRONG WAY ... After he filled his stupid gas, he would "sashay" out of the station and proceed to go in the opposite direction of traffic ... I swear this guy must think he lives in the States, or probably in some temperate European country where traffic is on the right, considering his awful get-up ....

Anyway, back to my fuming ... I don't know how it came about, but suddenly some time in March I think, I just decided I had had enough and would take definite actions on making sure that I would reach my office at the ungodly hour of at least 6.50am, simply because I want to go back before 5pm the latest (I'm pretty slow at my work, so that's why I have to arrive really early so that I can go back at the normal hour, instead of later than most people) ... A motorcycle was the best option, considering that it's much cheaper than a car ... When I said that I wanted to ride a motorcycle to work, or at least to the LRT station, my mom jumped in her granny pants, thinking that it would be too dangerous ... She said that I should just ride a bicycle to the LRT station .... I'm thinking, by the time I reach the station, I would be sweating in buckets and still not reach the office at the desired hour ... Of course, I am aware of the dangers of riding a motorcycle where you are not only exposed to the elements but also you are more likely to sustain serious injuries if you came into collision with another vehicle ... At least in a car you're much more protected, even if you had to break bank to pay for the damages ... Then, there are criminal elements to consider, where in KL there have been famous cases where women are abducted from empty parking lots, then raped and murdered most brutally ... I can only pray to God that I will not fall victim to any of these scenarios ... Of course, I also have to be extra vigilant when it comes to unlikely predators who come at me while on  the road and perfect my "Ride Like Hell" skills while deftly avoiding possible collisions ...

Anyway, I went in search of a driving instructor, or rather a driving school, where else but on the Internet ... I was particularly intrigued by this blog site called Lesen Memandu Murah (this site has been updated, what I've written below about it is outdated), which directly translated means "Cheap Driver's License" .... Seriously, that is what that phrase literally means ... So, for Malaysians, we would definitely know that this school offers bargain prices for lessons, but for the novice outsider, they would probably think it's some sort of shady establishment where you can get cheapo driver's license, something which I think would appeal to young Americans wanting fake IDs ....

Enticed by the fact that I only needed to pay MYR 300 for four lessons of two hours each plus one QTI, which is something like a pre-test, and also because the blog said that it would provide pick-up services, I immediately signed up without much thought ... Of course, there is always a first for everything and you must always learn things the hard way ... The pick-up for the first lesson was okay, I guess, but I did have to wait a while before the transport arrived ... For the second lesson, the pick-up never came, so much so that I walked back to my house mad as hell and sent damning texts to the driver ... In the end I decided not to continue with the lessons and asked for a refund, which turned out to be only MYR 100 ... I can't exactly remember what the MYR 200 was for, but I figured it was for some BS procedure, plus the fact that they already used a portion of it to "make" my learner's permit, or Lesen L as we call it here ...

But I met up with my brother afterwards, who said that I should just get the learner's permit and go to the school on my own ... Well, yeah, it seemed a waste just to quit like that ... So, by the grace of Allah, I managed to find the school on my own, got my learner's permit and for the next two and a half months I would turn up every Sunday morning and practice on how to ride a Honda Wave ....

The first thing the instructor told me to do was to stand the bike ... I thought, "My Lord, I can't possibly lift this bike," but trust me, the Honda Wave is much lighter than the MZ Moskito I eventually purchased .... After a few unsuccessful trys, and a bucket load of sweat, I did manage to stand the bike, but only later did I learn that I was doing it the wrong way ... Well, what do you expect? I know jack about motorcycles ... But I picked up tips on how to handle a motorcycle, such as pushing the bike back and forth so that you can release gears easily, from not only the instructors but the people who seem to crowd the motorcycle station but apparently not doing much there ...

Then the instructor told me to lift both feet to the foot rests and keep myself balanced on the bike while it was stationary, without it being supported by any of the stands .... Ohkay, now I am the Karate Kid, channeling all my energy .... After even more unsuccessful trys, I managed to keep myself balanced on the bike for a couple of seconds ... Up to this day, I am not too sure what is the logic behind it, but I guess if you can't even balance yourself on a bike, how the hell are you suppose to ride it in the first place? ...

After I managed to do these two things, the instructor told me to ride in-between four cones, so that you will zig zag three times ... Even though it looks easy, it's actually tougher than it looks ... I could only managed to turn after the first cone and turn again before the last cone ... The thing was, I was too concerned with not falling that I could not make the turn after the second cone ... It took me at least couple of Sundays to get the three zig zagging turns .... While I was doing this, I found myself sprinting on the bike a little bit, you know, learning how to change the gears, and you know what, it was kinda fun ... The rush of the wind, the smell of petrol, I began to see the excitement that bikers enjoy while riding on their bikes ....

Then I proceeded to the test field itself, which comprises two parts, Obstacles and Road .... Road is pretty easy actually ... In fact, I started with the Road test first before going through the Obstacles test ... Under Road, you only have to be aware of traffic, mind your indicators, look to the right, look to the left, look to the right again, and look back every time you stop at a junction ... Of course this being a school, it was not an actual road ... On an actual road, I will have all kinds of danger from all sides, cars zooming past real close to me me, biker f***kers who just appear out of nowhere, motorists who don't use their indicators to turn out from a stationary position, pedestrians that cross the road thinking that a motorcycle will never hit them, and a long long list of traffic violations ... Anyway, back to the school ....

The Obstacles course starts with the dreaded raised platform ... If you want to know how it looks like, just click on the link to El Cheapo Driver's License, and one of the visuals available is the raised platform ... It looks innocuous enough, but actually it's a piece of cement block straight out of Hell ... On the blog, you see a guy riding on it right, but that's probably a stunt rider they hired for promotional purposes, and not an actual student ... An actual student would be sweating buckets, and would not be able to control his/her bike straight enough out of nerves, and in the end, would fall off the platform, a sure tick for FAIL on the JPJ instructor's sheet ...Of all the obstacles, it is the raised platform I had the most issues with ... The school instructor told me to sprint a little while going up the platform, if not, I was bound to fall off the platform because I was too slow ... But I found that if I went too fast, I would not be on the platform for seven seconds or more ... That was the test, to remain on the platform for seven seconds or more .... Over the next several Sundays, while I managed to get through the other obstacles, I always fell off the platform, at least the first few trys ... The cone obstacle wasn't too bad, but once or twice I did put one foot or the other on the road to stop the bike from swerving ... This of course is another tick for FAIL ... The emergency brake is very easy ... All you have to do is sprint up to 20-25kph and perform the emergency brake within one section of the road ... If the front or back wheel is not properly within this section, meaning the wheel is on the line or outside the line, that's one more tick for FAIL ... The emergency brake itself is using 70% foot brake and 30% hand brake, and right after the bike comes to a complete stop, you have to make sure that it is your left foot, and not your right, that touches the road ... If not, another FAIL tick .... After that is the figure 8 obstacle ... I absolutely love this obstacle, I practically swung through it every time I did it ... All you have to remember is to use the hand signal before you start ... The last obstacle is the sharp turn ... Imagine a block U instead of a curved U, yup, those are the sharp turns ... This wasn't too bad for me, all I did was slow down just enough that I wouldn't end up going over the divider ....

So, that's what I did every Sunday morning for the last two and a half months ... I would go through the whole test course over and over for about two hours each lesson, plus extra lessons, which apparently was for free ... So, the 300 bucks wasn't too bad after all ... I found that if I did the raised platform obstacle a few times, I would get it after the third or fourth try ... But this required me to do it over and over, so I asked my instructors whether I could practice on the day of the test .... One of them said this rather rude thing, of which there is no adequate English translation, so I didn't like him that much after that ... But all my other instructors were kind, understanding and supportive ... I mean, they let me come and practice every Sunday without saying anything otherwise ... I was suppose to do a maximum eight hours of lessons and one QTI, but I ended up doing about 20 hours I think, without the QTI ... If fact, the day before the test, I came before for one last practice lesson ...

Alright, to the test itself, like I said, by the very grace of Allah, I passed the test .... I already prepared myself in the event that I failed, I would continue the lessons until the next test ... The thought was already in my head ... I was not trying to psych myself out, batter my self-confidence or anything like that ... I was just being realistic ... But God must have answered my prayers ... Only God knows how nervous I was on the day itself, but with His guidance and grace, I passed ... Until today as I type this, I still cannot believe that I passed the test ...

On the Saturday after I passed my test, I decided to go to the local Yamaha store, you know, just checking what sort of bike I would get ... I already decided I wanted a scooter since you don't have to worry about gears ... After asking what sort of financing they provided and all that, I decided to ask my brother who is obviously the expert ... This is my second brother who is a Star Wars freak like me .... He arrived on his MZ Moskito, and that is how I ended up buying a scooter that is no longer in production ... I don't know whether the MZ Moskito is in the same pedigree as its German counterparts, but I do know that the company was one of the oldest in the business before its insolvency... As long as I don't get into a major accident where the bike's body would be bent out of shape, then I guess I would be fine .... Well, of course not 100% fine as I may end up with a broken limb, at least, if I get into an accident like that, Allah-forbid ...

Which brings me, at long last, to the very thing I wanted to say ... I did end up in an accident actually .... Three accidents, all minor, but still accidents ... I have bruises and scratches on my legs to prove it, my whole left arm up to my shoulder was sore for two days after the first accident ...In the first accident I ended up breaking the bike's left mirror, which cost me 30 bucks ... What happened was that- Actually, not too sure what happened, I remember not really throttling that hard, but the bike just went out of control and straight into a wall ... I guess I panicked to the point that I didn't pull on both brakes fast enough .... As it turns out, the MZ Moskito has a tendency to spurt its engine, which I found out from a mechanic .... That is the thing about getting an auto rather than a bike with chains ... With the latter, I can throttle as much as I can at neutral, you know, if I really wanted to be like one of those biker f***kers that do that at every stop ... With the Moskito, I have to be very gentle, especially at first push ... This takes getting used to, after all I've only gotten the bike for a week ...

Anyway, the second accident happened while I was still parked ... You see, I forgot to take off the bloody lock ... Ohkay, a Moskito that loves to sprint forward plus a lock still on the wheel, not a good combination ... I don't know whether it was due to this accident or the first one, but the plate on the front wheel was dented, which cost me 50 bucks ... My brand new second-hand bike is becoming older by the second 'coz now I hear sounds .... I'm very sensitive to sounds when it comes to any kind of machinery ... If the washing machine, the DVD player, the TV start producing unfamiliar noises, naturally once would think there is something wrong with it, right? ....

The third accident is a repeat of the second .... I'm swearing off the lock for now, until I can find a system where I would REMEMBER TO TAKE THE BLOODY LOCK OFF THE WHEEL FIRST ... Even though somebody has said to me that nobody would steal this bike because it's no longer in production, I just don't like to leave things to chance ... I mean, I can pray to Allah all I want for leaving something precious unprotected, but if I don't take precautions, all my prayers would still come to nothing ... Because of this particular accident, the brake on the left handlebar broke ... Today is a Sunday, so the mechanic shop I went to yesterday to change the plate was closed when I arrived there this morning ... So you know what I did, I went all the way to KL on my bike to the shop where I got the new side mirrors, something which I swore I would never do on a motorcycle .... Up to now as I type this, I still don't know where I mustered the courage to ride a bike through roads full of Malaysian drivers and riders, but I wanted to have both brakes functional since I don't have much control over the bike to begin with ... If there were no vehicles on the road, I would have enjoyed the trip very much, I think ... Like I said, the rush of wind, the smell or petrol, the feeling of escape and freedom ....

The scratches on the bike after the first accident ... Of course the worst is the last one ... Apparently, the only way I could get the original look is if I changed the front frame ... One mechanic I talked to said that because the bike is no longer in production, I would not be able to find the parts for the frame, but my brother said I could ... Whatever it is, my new second-hand bike is becoming older by the minute with the way I've been treating it ...

A reminder of accidents past