Major Room Makeover! The Brainjuice Edition ... Headache, heartache, heartburn and Mr H ...

The best laid plans of mice and men
Often go awry

Robert Burns

Mr Burns must have had to deal with one too many mice so much so that they poetically ruined his plans ... I don't know what the hell I'm talking about ... The thing is, my room renovations was supposed to be completed in one day, but because of an unfortunate miscommunication, it could only be completed a day after Valentine's Day *sighs* ....

It is plain sense that everything one does for the first time will have its hang-ups .... I did not expect my major room makeover to go smoothly, particularly as I had zero experience in that area ... Even the contractor I hired was somebody I found in that effervescent fountain of knowledge known as the Internet ...

Well, here is how everything fell into shit ... I don't know how it is in other countries, but over these shores, the contractors one normally hires for residential renovations are the jack-of-all-trades types ... Not to say one person does everything as the head honcho would have his henchmen do all the dirty work, in a manner of speaking ....  It just means the boss just points and these typically Indonesian immigrants would carry out all the work that includes painting, electrical wiring, plumbing, tiling, laying the bricks, whatever .... I can only presume that somewhere like the States, a person would hire an interior designer, who would then hire a main contractor, who in turn would subcontract the job ... I suppose there might be all-round firms that does all that ....

Anyway, there I was, already having purchased all the things I wanted for my room without actually hiring the contractor first .... I had even half-contemplated of leaving the room as it is, after all, my room does look pretty nice with all the lights (Refer to previous post) ... But I wanted dramatic change! I'm about to turn the big Four-O and I was still living in some sad teenager room ... So, at that point I still wasn't sure how to go about hiring a contractor ... They say for something like this, normally references by people you know would work best ... After all, the contractor in question has done some work for your relative or friend maybe, and they say he's pretty good, no sloppy work, and most importantly, on time and within budget ...

So, I asked my mom about that contractor who did the renovations on the house we had lived in before we moved to the current one ... It was a long time ago and who knows, the guy most probably already croaked ... As it turned out, my mother no longer has his number .... So, back to square one ... Me being the internet hound could only think of the next best thing ...

The first number I tried had this rather impressive website attached to it, with photos of previous works, I presumed ... Any fly-by-night operator could put up such photos ... Anything is possible online, right? .... I gave the number a call and it turned out the "firm"'s backlog had set it back at least a month before it could take up any new work ...

The second number had an interesting name attached to it ... It's the name of the firm, which will remain anonymous as I'm only telling this story as a moral tale and nothing more, and the given name of the "boss", Chi Sing ... Chi Sing in Cantonese means crazy, or is it Chee Seng? ... Anyway, it was close enough, but I was thinking about what sort of sick parents would name their child Crazy  ... More importantly, why was he using his given name to advertise his firm on the Web? (Btw the way, it's from a listing of renovations firms in KL) ... Seriously, I don't think any Chinese, or Cantonese-speaking person, would hire this guy, except for barmy people such as yours truly ... From henceforth, our contractor shall be known as Mr H ... Mr H answered my call after the second ring ... Okay, that was prompt ... He was profuse with his byes and ok's and thank you's, even at the beginning of the sentence, so much so that every time I'm on the phone with him, I had to rush myself for fear of being cut short .... So, we set a time for him to come over to my place, which was on a Sunday ...

He arrived about quarter of an hour early, which boded well for him, I guess, at least in the beginning ... My first impression of him was that of the stereotypical Far Eastern Tourist - baseball cap, baggy shirt, baggy short trousers (something between a pair of shorts and a pair of what we UK-educated people would call trousers), pulled up socks and sporty shoes or loafers ... What's missing was the huge camera one would find hanging from the neck of such specimen ... With his unfortunate name, and his outfit, and his seemingly mild disposition, I sort of felt sorry for the guy ... I guess that is why I hired him ... Okay, don't ever ask me to do any business on your behalf, alright ... I guess I have tendency for to feel sorry for people, though they might not actually like it ...

After I pointed out the things I wanted done for my room, Mr H sat and calculated everything in his head for the so-called quotation ... The overall price given was a bit steep, but was within my expectations ... I literally broke bank for this major room makeover, but I figured, what the hell, I've lived in almost austere conditions for the better part of my life, i.e. room with crappy lighting and all-too-bright walls and ceiling ... Not too mention the amount of junk in the room that is sore to the eye but fond to the heart ... So, I said yes to Mr H's quotation and we set a date as to when the work would be done ... It was to be a Saturday as I just didn't feel like taking a day off just so I could babysit some dubious construction worker ...

I should mention at this point that Mr H asked for a deposit ... I suppose it's the practice but me being overly suspicious where money is concerned (don't ask me why, maybe it's a childhood trauma) wasn't so keen on paying any amount before the job is done ... In the end, I said I would deposit the money into Mr H's account, to which he agreed ... Actually, I didn't have  money at the time, so that's why I asked whether I could make a money transfer ... In hindsight, it's a good thing 'coz then I would have a record of Mr H's IC number and account ... If anything goes wrong, I could just make a complaint with the Consumer Board, not to mention a police report ... But, if Mr H was a fly-by-night operator, I could just say bye-bye to that deposit, even if his IC number is blacklisted, which then brought me to the more rational side of my brain ... What fly-by-night operator would be stupid enough to give out their IC number and account and think they can just up and run? ...

Anyways, I made the money transfer ... I waited and waited for him to call ... I made the money transfer a little after noon, so the bank teller told me that the money would only be received at the end of the day of the next working day ... So, I called Mr H at around 5pm the following day after I made the money transfer ... His wife picked up ... Ohkay, I'm not liking this one bit ... A little while after, Mr H returned my call and said he hasn't checked his bank account yet .... At about 6pm, I already had horrible thoughts and my heart was sinking faster than the Titanic ... Ohhkaay, there goes my money ... There I was, moping, and already thinking of back-up plans ... No, they didn't involve me doing all the work myself, more like ... I don't really recall what I was thinking, but I'm pretty sure they were all very dark thoughts ... Then Mr H called me at around 6.40ish and said that the money was in .... Boy, the joy and relief that flooded through my veins was akin to a ... HAPPY DRUG ... I instantly became happy! ... So happy, in fact, that I went into Mango and bought a new bag (I was wondering around a mall while waiting for that bloody phone call) .... Hmmm, I gotta keep all these moods in check, if y'know what I mean ....

Anyway, Mr H couldn't come on the appointed date ... Apparently, it had something to do with the new window I asked for ... So, I had to take a day off ... Luckily, my team leader was considerate, considering I took two days off in January to settle accounts and also to get stuff for my room reno ... So early in the year and I'm already taking a few days off .... Hmmm ....

A-nee-way, on that day, at about 10 in the morning, I waited ... Until about half past, then I called Mr H ... Apparently, he's waiting for a truck ... Either my understanding of his broken BM is that bad, or I seriously need to get a new brain ... Either way, he's very late, so I decided to go out and buy some more stuff for the room, which included a table fan ... Now, let me remind you, dear reader, of the significance of me not being able to understand Mr H, and him me, which will indeed become very significant as the story progresses ... As for the significance of the table fan, you shall see at the very end of this post, so NO PEEKING! ...

So, Mr H, one worker and this guy with a rather condescending smile came ... I don't know, I just didn't like the way that guy smiled ... It didn't feel sincere at all ... Apparently, he's the guy Mr H ordered my new window set from .... And my gut was right about him ... When I checked out the window after they all left for the day, I found the screen partitions did not fit properly within their frame ... I'm not too sure how to describe the fault, but let's just that I was not happy one bit .... I asked that guy to fix in a new door knob for me, and that was fine ... My new door knob worked well, but that guy took the old door knob with him ... I've never heard of any contractor taking away one's old and broken stuff ... Unless that stuff was still working, or had some sort of value, right? .... Okay, now the paranoid side of me is kicking in, whatever it is, I don't trust that guy ... So, if I'm gonna ask Mr H to do some other job in the future, I'm going to specifically tell him not to hire THAT guy ...

Well, they just started work, and I was busy looking at the stuff I asked for ... There was the new window and its screen partitions and the two boards for my wardrobe, but where were the mouldings I asked for? .... I asked Mr H this, and he started to rummage in his knapsack ... I was thinking, what the holy hell is he doing? If that is some sort Mary Poppins bag and Mr H actually fit really long pieces of wood in there, I'm just gonna jump out of that window before the new one gets fixed in .... Okay, so I wasn't thinking the last thought, but really, mouldings fitting in a knapsack? How magical is that? ...

And then Mr H pulled out these two rolls of wallpaper borders, and the look of my face, I think, was more priceless than any f**king lame credit card joke you can think of ... WHAT THE F**K! I didn't say that out loud, but I was definitely thinking it .... Then I recalled Mr H's obvious look of uncertainty when I pointed out the mouldings dividing the ceiling and the walls in the living room when he came for the quotation ... He said he would have to go shopping for that one, like buy them at some retail store ... I was thinking, why would you buy mouldings at a retail store, unless it's the Home Depot ... We don't have Home Depot here ... we have individual hardware stores, we have hardware chain stores, we just don't have a one-stop DIY superstore chain ... When Mr H took out the wallpaper borders, the thought really kicked me in the head: He thought I was talking about the decorative border that was peeling away right underneath the mouldings in my mother's living room, and being the stupid smart-ass that I was, I kept insisting on using the word "mouldings" when I pointed out them to Mr H ... Just because Mr H isn't as well-educated as I am, that doesn't mean that he's stupid ... It's bloody f**king me who's stupid not to realize this ...

It was because of this miscommunication that set back the work and threw me off my already constrained budget as Mr H had to go out and actually get the mouldings, which I found out from Mr H are called "kayu kop" or "kayu bunga" ... Kayu bunga literally means 'flowery wood', which I suppose is what mouldings really are, arent't they? ... I'm not too sure how to translate kayu kop, but I just found out as I'm typing this that mouldings are known as coving in the UK and Australia ... Kayu is wood, so kop might just be a corrupted short form word used by contractors in a country that was once colonized by the British ... So, BJ, who's the UK-educated genius here now, eh? .... I was cursing myself right, left, north and centre when I realized what an utter fool I was in not making myself clear to Mr H ... The fault is all mine, and I paid the price ... So, that is why the work, which Mr H had promised could be done in one day, could not be finished on that Tuesday ... The sole worker finished painting the room after the window was fixed, then he fixed in the two boards into my wardrobe, and fixed in the lighting fixtures, and removed the ceiling fan ... Ah, that is why I bought the table fan, 'coz I fixed in two lighting fixtures to the ceiling and wall ...

I did ask whether Mr H was going to count in the whole cost of the mouldings ... I know I made a mistake and I didn't want to say it out loud, but should I be totally at fault for the whole mishap? ... Mr H could have asked me first what I meant by mouldings, right? ... In the end, Mr H gave me a discount on the mouldings ... It wasn't that much, in my opinion, but it's better than paying the cost for the mouldings AND two rolls of wallpaper borders that I did not ask for in the first place ... This is, of course, not counting in the cost for fixing in the mouldings ...

Oh, well, so I sort of screwed up on my first renovation hiring job ... But I am thinking of hiring Mr H again to do the bathroom ... Nothing major, just change the shower head to one of those wide shower heads that make you feel like you're taking a shower right underneath a waterfall; and change the sink (It's leaking anyway because the sink is somehow "moving" away from the wall, thus disconnecting the U-shaped bend from the sink itself) to one of those that come with a stainless steel cabinet, so I can put away stuff in them and not having to use those awful-looking shower caddies (I have two in the bathroom); put in a new towel rack ('coz one of the screws on the old one is coming out and it's unfixable) and a new mirror (nothing wrong with the old mirror, I just want a bigger, nicer-looking one so that I can look at my boobs ... Just kidding, heheh); and give the bathroom a fresh coat of paint as one section of the walls is covered with mould ... Since I literally broke bank with my major room makeover, I don't have anymore money to do anymore renovation jobs, or for anything else for that matter ... But, God-willing, I will get the bathroom done up ... Just maybe not in the next, ooohh, five years or so ...

Lighting courtesy of IKEA ... I said I wanted dramatic change for my room, right? This is as dramatic as it would get ... You'd think I'd get a disco ball and paint my room red, right? ... I have an undiagnosed mood disorder, but I haven't completely lost it, okay ... I wanted some kind of chandelier, so at one lighting store, I looked at the chandeliers and they
were all very pretty, but very expensive ... Anyway, I already bought this SÖDER pendant lamp, which didn't hurt my wallet and look pretty nice .... The BASISK 3-spot ceiling track is a little bit askew, so I'm not too happy with that as well ... But I just didn't feel like making diva demands with the worker, so I just left it as it is ... Anyway, I asked for dark grey for the ceiling, so my room isn't too bright when the sun directly hits it in the morning ... It's really difficult to sleep in on the weekends when your room is really bright, so the dark ceiling sort of tempers the brightness ... I had asked for cream for the walls, but it looks more yellow than cream to me ... Anyway, now you know why I insisted on the mouldings ...  A two-tone room would look awful, in my opinion, if it wasn't bordered with mouldings ... White mouldings, might I add ... Mr H wanted to paint it a different colour, but I want a clean and simple look, yet different ... So, this is my interpretation of clean, simple and different ...

The screen partitions, although not made to my liking, is the saving grace of the room actually ... You, dear reader, may of course not know this, but for the last 20-odd years that I have lived in this room, I have NEVER opened the window ... Yes, how in the world that I have managed to live in a stuffy room all this while? ... Not to mention the cooking smells that waft in and get stuck in the room every time my mother cooks, since my room is really near to the kitchen ... Well, our apartment complex lies right in front of a small hill covered with luxurious tropical flora (that is dwindling because of climate change, unfortunately) ... and no doubt, with a wide range of tropical fauna as well ... I just don't like things with more than four legs flying and crawling about, so that is why I never opened the windows ... I do not want to be waking up and looking at a giant spider stuck right on the ceiling above my head  .... So, now, I can finally open the window, let the fresh air in, but keep those bloody bugs out ... And behold how my bed looks like with the OFELIA blanket from IKEA ... Once upon a time, I used to make my bed, until one day when I just got lazy and never bothered to ... It's not that I like the way my bed looks like, with the sheets coming out and all that ... It's just that for the last few years, I've been going to work pretty early and I just didn't feel like wasting time ... So, since I've decided to change my room, I've also decided my attitude at not keeping it looking spick and span has got to go as well ... Check out the huge pillow with the furry animal print ... It feels like a stuffed animal, but it's actually a huge comfy pillow I can rest my back to while watching the TV :) ... Well, a girl has to have her creature comforts, in a manner of speaking ... As for the curtain, it's also from IKEA ... Yes, I know, my room looks straight out of an IKEA catalogue ...The funny thing is, I found a bedside lamp with a tree ring motif as well ... The lamp was gorgeous, and would fit in perfectly with the curtain and its pattern of tree rings ... But the price for the lamp was steep, even after a discount ... So I chose practicality above aesthetics and got a bedside lamp with an ultra-frilly lampshade ... Actually, I had already bought the frilly lamp when I saw the gorgeous tree-ring patterned lamp ... That's the real answer ....

Anyway, I am not going to reveal how my whole room looks like ... Not now anyway ... The reason is, the room looks more cramped than it was before the makeover because I added new furniture in order to get those huge  boxes out of sight ... Well, the huge boxes are gone, thanks to the fact that I converted my old wardrobe into a storage cabinet, but because of the new furniture, the bed and the coffee table, my room has less room to walk about ... So, I'm planning to get rid of the bed and get a sofa-bed instead ... I'm not too sure when this is going to happen since I'm pretty broke now, so hopefully in the nearest time possible, God-willing ... For now, I am so relieved that my room looks different ... I guess this is my New Year's resolution, to change my room, and more importantly, to change how I've been living in it all this time ....